So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
