I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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