Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
