Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
