you win again, gameday.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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