he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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