Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
