The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize