Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
