Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
