apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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