Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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