I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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