I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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