At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize