I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
