He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
