Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
