remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
