apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
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i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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