I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
