You just made me feel so damn special
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
