Can Purell be used as lube?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
