He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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