is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
