So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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