I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize