brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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