If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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