Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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