So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
