i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
