Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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