You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
