About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
