I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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