We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
