Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize