ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You may now shotgun with the bride
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
