i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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