1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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