whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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