We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize