Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
