Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Randomize
