just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
