dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
as a side note pls kill me
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