Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
