so that wasnt chicken after all
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I think people are normalizing furries
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
