it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
