my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
