idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize