it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
