My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
