I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
