help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
