I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
