i just had sex bonerless
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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