Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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