I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
