just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
