We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
