u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
he thought i was a dude.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
