What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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