Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
