Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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